Your understanding is distorted. Nobody likes to be treated like shit. What women like is a strong man who's not afraid to take a stand, even when it's against something she wants. Women test men's limits constantly (because they can't trust guys, nor should they) and these tests are to see how far they can push the envelope with you. A lot of this happens on a subconscious level and they often don't even know they're testing you. Visualize both of you being sumo wrestlers in the ring. If she can push you out of the ring, then she will despise you and believe you're weak and not a man.
Sometimes, when you guys clash and you stand strong, you will come off as a dick. You might say "Sorry but i can't see you today. I haven't seen my best bud in a while and i'd be a bad friend to just abandon him. I'll call you when i get back." You just showed that you value your friends and that you have boundaries that you won't compromise.
She won't be happy and will bitch about the fact that you're not hanging out with her, but she will gain respect for you rather than seeing you as a weak, spineless, little boy. If she acts grown up about it later, reward her with affection. If she acts like a spoiled baby (and sooner or later, every girl will act out on occasion), you should withdraw your attention/affection/physical presence from her environment and go somewhere else and hang out with more mature people. You're not treating her like shit. You're just showing her what your values are and leaving it up to her to decide if she wants to stay or to go. You'd surprised at how quickly a woman can adjust to your "house rules" if you just show a little backbone. Most women would rather be with an asshole who's a MAN than be with a super nice but wimpy little pussy. (This is where you're getting that "treating women like crap" idea from)
Generally, women have an instinctive need to be able to "look up to you" if you get my drift. It makes them feel safe and secure that they picked the right guy to let their guard down with. So it's not about treating people like shit. It's simply about showing her that you're a man. The house of love is built upon a foundation of respect. Without respect, whatever it is you're getting will only be a cheap imitation of love.
There are however, ways to manipulate women by exploiting the insecurities they have such as fear of loss, fear of abandonment, jealousy, etc. Going down this path involves establishing a pattern of abusive behavior towards the woman in order to slowly destroy her psychologically. This is evil in one of its purest forms and this is how so many women become broken shells of what they once were, and therefore, i will not share this knowledge with you.
Buddha
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